


To Help The Sparrow Sing

by AlkonostStorm, Casandraelf



Series: The Cursed Sparrow [1]
Category: Yoroiden Samurai Troopers | Ronin Warriors
Genre: Autistic OC, Autistic Touma, Gen, Healing Power of Friendship, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, OC Armored Warrior, Past Child Abuse, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-02-22
Packaged: 2018-09-20 07:53:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9481808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlkonostStorm/pseuds/AlkonostStorm, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Casandraelf/pseuds/Casandraelf
Summary: Tokugawa Ieyasu once said that if a bird won't sing, you must wait for it to sing.But what if the bird in question is afraid to sing?





	1. Prologue: Broken Sparrow

Suzume looked at herself in the mirror, taking in what she saw. A heavily scarred, short-haired, somewhat lanky girl wearing only a plain beaded choker stared back at her, dark circles under her eyes. Thin, straight lines of scar tissue decorated the inner halves of her lower arms and inner thighs while numerous scars ran along her arms, legs and rib-cage from countless years of compound fractures. She looked at her hands, taking note of the cigarette burns on the backs of her hands he left behind.

 

To her, she was hideous, a broken thing that could never be repaired, something that, even with years of medication and therapy, could never be fixed.

 

It was a morning ritual for her, to take in the endless scarring on her skin, to remind herself of how worthless she was, how even with a kind family, she would never be normal. She looked at her face, taking in the scar on her right cheek, the scar over the bridge of her nose and the burn scar on her left cheek. In her eyes, the scars on her skin were only a reflection of how truly broken she was inside, how her mind could never be changed.

 

“Suzu-chan? It's time for breakfast,” she heard her older sister call, snapping the short-haired girl out of the daily ritual of examining herself through the lens of self-loathing she engaged in. Drawing in a deep breath before letting it out in a sigh, Suzume finally got dressed. After pulling on a pair of briefs and a bra, she pulled on a pair of blue jeans before pulling on a collared, button-down short-sleeved shirt over a longer-sleeved shirt before finally pulling on her most prized possession: a pair of incredibly soft, knitted hand warmers. After pulling on a pair of clean socks and a pair of tennis shoes, she concealed the deformation with a bandage, same for the burn scar. Taking one last look at herself in the mirror, finding herself somewhat presentable, she headed down for breakfast.

 

Little did she realize that, on that day, a chance encounter would lead to her life changing significantly, one that would change her life for the better.

 


	2. Chapter One: Soothing Heat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A heated compress can sometimes relieve the deepest of pains.

Suzume's routine had been altered significantly due to recent circumstances, meaning that every day after school she was now to make her way to a shrine for her shrine maiden training. As usual for someone with her condition, these changes bothered her greatly at first, but she eventually adapted somewhat. Upon arriving at the shrine, she changed into the white kimono top and red hakama that consisted of her shrine uniform before she began her lessons in the art of the miko _._ Leaving her necklace and hand warmers on, Suzume began her lessons, starting with meditation. She had a bit of trouble getting started, but with a bit of help from Maika Tenjou, a girl who ended up latching onto Suzume as a sort of little sister figure, she began to start slipping into a meditative state.

 

That progress was instantly halted by the sound of a scream from outside, forcing the scarred girl back to reality as Maika headed outside to investigate. With a sigh, Suzume tried to slip back into her trance, but distractions kept breaking her out of it. After the third interruption, she jumped to her feet, grabbed a broom and stormed outside, ready to beat the shit out of whoever kept her from meditating. She was not in the mood for this shit and someone was probably gonna die for disrupting her. Maika and two other shrine maidens, Sakura Furude and her best friend Chie Miyagi, were both backing away, clearly terrified. Suzume soon saw why they were so scared, as she froze while holding the broom.

 

A massive white tiger was slowly padding toward them, a low growl audible as it studied them, three figures following it. After a few moments, the tiger stopped, staring at each of them and only moving closer when they backed away. Suzume could swear she felt her heart stop when the tiger seemed to lock eyes with her, its brown eyes boring into hers. This staredown lasted for several minutes before the tiger made the next move, that being an odd puffing sound before flopping onto its side and staring up at her, a low purr-like growl audible as it kneaded the air with its huge paws as the three figures caught up with it.

 

“Hey, White Blaze, what're you doing?”

The figures consisted of three young men, one with shaggy, shoulder-length black hair and sapphire blue eyes, one with blond hair styled to cover one of his pale blue eyes and one with short blue hair wearing a darker blue headband, his blue-grey eyes studying the girls. The black-haired boy approached the tiger as it kept rolling around in front of Suzume like a massive house cat, clearly trying to get her to pet it. The four shrine maidens watched in horrified wonder as he fearlessly knelt down and petted the beast.

“...Maybe he's onto something,” the blue-haired boy mused as he slowly approached the big cat, rubbing his chin in thought. “I mean, White Blaze is only hostile toward those who're a problem, right?”

“Or maybe they're good at hiding their intentions,” the blond boy commented as he folded his arms over his chest. “Touma, you don't really think we can trust them, do you?”

“They probably would have attacked us by now if they meant us harm, so at least for now, Seiji, I think we're good.”

The blue-haired boy, likely named Touma, looked at the blond with what Suzume guessed was a 'you've got to be fucking kidding me' sort of look before he spoke again.

“I don't think we should do anything unless they try to attack us, Seiji, so try to stand down for now.”

 

“Alright, just who the hell are you three, why the hell do you have a tiger and what the hell do you want?!”

Maika stepped forward as she took the broom from Suzume's hands, ready to try and chase them off as the black-haired boy turned his attention toward her.

“Well, my name is Ryo. Seiji and Touma are a couple of friends of mine, so don't worry about them. We came here because, uh...”

He sheepishly rubbed the back of his head as he tried to come up with some kind of excuse when Touma chimed in.

“Maybe we should take this inside. We don't want to draw a crowd.”

Reluctantly, the four girls agreed as they led the three boys and the tiger into part of the shrine.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Suzume was too exhausted to pay attention as she heard Maika, Chie and Sakura talk to the three boys, as shown by how she kept fidgeting. After the blond, Seiji, looked at her funny, Maika spoke up.

“Suzume, if you have to rock, flap or whatever, then do it. If they complain, I'll tell them to back off.”

The scarred miko shook her head in reply.

“Not gonna do it. It's weird.”

Touma and Ryo soon looked at Suzume, the black-haired boy looking at Maika with concern.

“What's wrong with your friend?”

 

With a sigh, Maika finally spoke.

“Suzume's a bit...odd. She's pretty overwhelmed by all of this, so she has these things she does to try and cope...problem is, she doesn't like having people see them.”

As Suzume continued to fidget, White Blaze, who was quietly sitting next to the three boys, approached Suzume and sprawled over the shrine maiden's legs, making that same puffing sound a few times as he looked up at the girl. Ryo smiled when he saw this.

“I guess White Blaze wants to help her out,” he commented as Suzume nervously stared at the tiger. “Go on, it's okay, you can pet him. He probably wants you to.”

 

The other girls watched as Suzume timidly reached out to touch the tiger, letting out a nervous squeak when he gently nudged her hand with his muzzle. It soon became clear that the big cat was incredibly friendly as he kept gently rubbing and nudging her gloved hand. Ultimately, Suzume just couldn't resist White Blaze any longer as she pulled off her hand warmers and started petting the tiger, her efforts rewarded by a purring growl as his eyes lazily closed, resting his huge head on her lap as she ran her fingers through his fluffy cheeks. The warmth of the white tiger's body combined with his surprisingly soft fur actually seemed to help relax Suzume, as the next thing she knew, she had buried her face into the tiger's side, slowly rocking back and forth as she did so, the tiger responding with the same puffing sounds and purring growl, along with kneading the air with his huge paws. As Ryo and the other girls continued to talk, Suzume focused on the wealth of new sensations before her as she tried to relax, to help return some of the energy she lost throughout the day.

 

Needless to say, White Blaze was quite happy to oblige her, as he clearly enjoyed the attention she lavished on him. After a while, a soft touch on her shoulder alerted Suzume to the fact that she wasn't alone with the huge tiger. Slowly, she lifted her head, her face beet red as she tried to brush off the tiger fur on her face, making Touma and Ryo snicker a bit.

“Feel better, Suzume?”

Maika smiled as she looked at the girl, who slowly nodded in reply.

“Maybe we should drop by more often so White Blaze can hang out with her,” Ryo offered. “If White Blaze likes you guys, I guess we don't have anything to worry about.”

“Did I miss anything?”

Suzume looked at the three boys as White Blaze dropped his head on her lap again as she pulled her hand warmers back on.

 

“Well, for one thing, seems like there's a reason why these three guys look as if they're mecha pilots: they've got magic armor that goes on over it,” Chie told her as she leaned against Sakura.

“Yeah, plus they came to find out why there's been so much weird shit going on around here,” the dirty-blonde-haired miko added as she touched Chie's hand. Seiji gave the two girls an odd look, one that seemed to betray a hint of jealousy as Suzume spoke again.

“You mean the fact that we f-mmph!”

Maika immediately muffled Suzume as the three boys looked at them funny.

“The four of you do...what?”

Ryo blinked as he studied them.

 

The next thing everyone knew, Maika had picked up the broom Suzume had tried to use on White Blaze and proceeded to chase off the three boys and their tiger like all four of them were stray house cats. Still, being chased off didn't seem to deter the boys. Far from it, as a few days later, Ryo, Touma and White Blaze dropped by the shrine, the huge white tiger trotting over to Suzume as he greeted her with that same puffing sound he made the first time they met, a sound she now recognized as 'chuffing,' before rubbing up against her and flopping like a massive house cat.

 

Ryo couldn't help but smile whenever Suzume buried her face in White Blaze's fur, happy to see that his long-time friend could help someone. What he didn't expect was for the tiger to gently nudge the girl toward him, clearly trying to get her to socialize with someone other than an oversized cat.

“Guess he wants you to be friends with me, huh?”

Suzume twiddled her fingers nervously and nodded as White Blaze rubbed against her leg, making Ryo chuckle.

“Whaddya say, Suzume? You wanna try hanging out some time?”

 

She nodded, trying to suppress the feeling that she didn't deserve kindness. As Ryo smiled, she could feel the ice encasing her heart begin to melt a little.

 


	3. Chapter Two: Ray of Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For someone who has lived their early life in darkness and despair, a ray of light and hope could mean the difference between life and death.

With the introduction of Ryo and his friends into her life, Suzume had grown used to Ryo's visits, especially when White Blaze accompanied him. In fact, she was looking forward to another visit from Ryo as she made her way up to the shrine. However, she was sorely disappointed to find that Seiji rather than Ryo was there.

“Where's Ryo?”

Suzume looked a bit worried as Seiji turned to face her.

“Ryo's busy, so he wanted me to hang out with you today,” he replied. As he finished speaking, she noticed Touma chatting with Maika while Chie and Sakura continued their work sweeping the grounds. Suzume felt somewhat on edge being around someone other than Ryo or her friends.

“I...alright, what'd you have in mind for us to do?”

Internally, she bit the bullet and decided to try and find a way to enjoy herself with Seiji. Fortunately for her, it seemed the blond was just as nervous as she was.

 

“I...guess I could try to show you bonsai. That sound good to you?”

Suzume nodded in reply.

“Just let me get changed first, okay? Pretty sure it'd look weird to have a shrine maiden walking with you.”

One change of clothes later, Seiji and Suzume headed off to his home.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To say that Suzume felt incredibly out of place when she arrived at Seiji's sprawling house was an understatement. Meeting his family certainly helped to make it easier on her, as it turned out his parents, sister Yayoi and Seiji's grandfather were very welcoming. Even though she was fairly blind to social cues, Suzume could tell that there was some tension between Seiji and Yayoi. Ultimately, they were welcomed inside. Suzume didn't say much when she found herself pulled into sharing tea with the family. Mostly, she just listened to them talk, trying to learn their faces as she mulled over their names. The tension between Seiji and Yayoi still seemed to be rather high, as she noticed the blond tense up ever so slightly when his sister started talking about him. She gave him a worried look, silently asking if he was alright and only calming when he nodded in reply. She was snapped back to the conversation at hand when Yayoi called her name.

 

“S-sorry, what were you saying...?”

She was so nervous she blanked on her name. Thankfully, she seemed to understand as she gently reminded Suzume of her name.

“Right...Yayoi. Uh, did you ask me something?”

“Yeah. How'd you meet my little brother?” The older girl smiled gently as she sipped her tea. Suzume initially traced the rim of her cup with her finger before replying.

“Uhh...h-he and his friends came to the shrine I work and study at. I guess they got curious or something.”

“Seems like you get along with him well. If you ever decide to be his girlfriend, I certainly won't be complaining,” she teased. Suzume blushed hard and looked back at her tea while Seiji shot her a withering look, trying not to let his face redden as he did so.

“Yayoi, we just met,” he replied simply as he sipped his tea. “Please don't joke about that. Something tells me that Kishibe-san doesn't find it funny.”

Suzume looked up when she heard Seiji say that.

“I-I don't think you need to tell her off, Seiji-san. I think she was just kidding,” she replied as she took another drink of her tea. “Saiyuki does the same with me sometimes.”

Seiji gave her an odd look she couldn't quite understand, but she guessed it was either annoyance, frustration or growing anger. He had cocked an eyebrow, his one-eyed gaze making her feel as if he was on the verge of snapping, since he didn't turn back to his sister for a short time. As he stared, she turned her gaze downward, quietly apologizing.

 

Silence, then Seiji broke it.

“Kishibe-san, are you afraid of me?”

She looked at him, trying to read his expression, all while Yayoi, Seiji's grandfather and parents looked at her. She could clearly tell that they were worried, while Seiji was much harder to interpret.

“...You're mad at me, right?”

The fear in her eyes, the way her shoulders slumped, her overall awkwardness, the bandages she wore, it made the rest of Seiji's family wonder about the scarred girl. Yayoi was starting to pick up on the fact that Suzume was very likely traumatized by something, and it seemed to relate to angering others. Seiji could tell from the way she and the rest of his family looked at Suzume that they were all wondering the same thing: Who hurt the quiet, polite but clearly frightened girl that Seiji had brought with him? Why was she acting like she expected to be yelled at?

 

Seiji wasn't sure how to respond as he stared at Suzume, a mixture of confusion and worry visible on his face. She could see his visible eyebrow tilt slightly, softening his gaze and further expressing his concern.

“N-no, I'm not mad. Why do you say that?”

“T-the way you looked at me,” she managed, still not looking up at him. “I-I thought you were angry at me.”

“Seiji's not mad at you,” his mother answered as she gently reached for Suzume's hand. “He tends to have a serious look on his face most of the time,” she explained, all while the grandfather nodded in agreement. “I think he was surprised that you came to his defense, right?”

Seiji nodded as he slowly reached for Suzume's shoulder to get her attention.

“Please...look at me.”

Finally, she turned to look at Seiji. She could tell he was worried as he looked at her.

“I'm not mad at you. She's right: I was just surprised that you came to my defense. I guess...I guess I wasn't expecting you to speak up.”

Suzume seemed to relax a bit at his words. As she looked around, she could see the relieved smiles of the rest of his family.

 

After the tea session, Seiji decided to show Suzume his bonsai projects. He led her into a greenhouse-like building, where she saw numerous oddly designed bonsai trees. What got her attention was a somewhat shaded tank that contained several balls of moss submerged in water, some being roughly the same size as a baseball.

“Hey Seiji, what are these?”

He chuckled when he noticed the scarred girl examining the tank, slightly surprised when she noticed a small jet of bubbles push them around, causing the moss balls to turn.

“Those are marimos. The ones that are baseball-size are thought to be at least one hundred years old. Sometimes I use them in bonsai projects.”

“Is it weird for me to say they're cute? Because they are...somehow.”

Seiji chuckled a bit at her words.

“Yayoi says the same thing about them. She adores marimos. They can't stay out of water forever, so I usually put them back in the tank when I'm done showing off the bonsai I made. You can take one out if you want. They benefit from being squeezed.”

 

Taking off her glove and pushing up her sleeve, Suzume reached into the tank and pulled out a marimo. Upon closer inspection, the little green ball of algae had a bit of fuzz on it. Taking off her other glove, she carefully squeezed out the marimo and gently rolled it around in her hands before dropping it into the tank. She then proceeded to do the same thing to the rest of the moss balls, rolling around the bigger balls in both of her hands before letting them slowly sink down into the tank again. When she finished with the moss balls, she dried off her hands, pulled her gloves back on, rolled her sleeves back down and sat down next to Seiji as he worked on his latest project, spending the rest of the time quietly watching. Seiji didn't mind her silence, though he did occasionally glance over to see if she was alright. Every single time, she replied with a smile.

 

Though her eyes were still somewhat shrouded in darkness, it seemed that a bit of kindness was enough to show her there was light for her to reach. If the Warrior of Wildfire, wielder of the Yoroi no Rekka, was able to begin thawing the ice surrounding her heart, then the Warrior of Halo, wielder of the Yoroi no Korin, would be able to kickstart the long process of dispelling the shadows haunting her with a gentle guiding light.

 


End file.
